Basic Writing Exercise

These essays were written by first-year college students in a basic writing course. Grade them as if they were your students, with marginal and end comments and a grade. Then answer the following questions:

1. What patterns of “error” do you find in each essay? How would you handle these problems?

2. Which writer is more advanced, or at least has less serious problems? What evidence leads you to your conclusion?

1. An Embarrassing Experience

                 When I were in High school we had a football Banquite & I had not Ben to a fromer accesson Befor. And I also included a young Lady along.

I were like the young man in the story we read in class.

                 I cam to the Banquite proper dressed But I did not have no table Manner. Everyone Began to set down. I did not know I sirpose to assist the young lady with chair until she told me. after about 30 min the guss spoke Began to spake & I did not know when to Began to eat & after I saw all the other People eating I look around for my silverware, But I did not have any, than I tryed to get the water attanson. They finally Brage me me silverware. I though that were the lose embarrassment monet for tonight, But they had just Began. The main dish were chicken & it were fride cripe & when I Bit off it, it would make a loud nose and the other People would look aroung at me & my date would look the other way. From then on I promer myself I would learn good table manner.

2. My Eighth Birthday

                   It was the morning of my 8th birthday you could tell by the sky that it was going to rain. My mother had just left going to work before she left she told me the same thing she told me every morning Don’t go out in the street, Don’t turn on the gas, Don’t mess with any dogs or cats, Don’t play with fire, and your dinner is in the ice box. I was about to go out in the front yard when it began to rain. I had all ways loved to look at the rain. the rain hit the house like small baseballs and Willie Mays was hiting them at the house, the tree was waving like my mother would wave her fan in church. the wind began to blow harder and harder and then I saw a arm fall from one of the tree fly away like a bird.

The whole house began to get colder and colder as I started to turn on the gas I remember my mother saiding Don’t turn on the gas so I climbed in to my bed & covered up and asked God to kept my mother safe and warm and Don’t let that tree fall on her.